End of an era

So me and my sister have been pregnant with babies and on mat leave on and off together for 3 years now. It's been so amazing to share this time and experience with her. I am realizing today as she gets ready to return to work tomorrow that life will never be quite the same again. And just as I've learned that change is natural and positive, I have also learned to apprciate things in the moment. Without each other I think this time would have been so much tougher on each of us. I know the coffee breaks, texts, cafe o play visits and just plain tired days together will never be forgotten. My sister has always been my best friend, and support and I like to believe I hers. We've been through so many good times together and too many really bad times too. I am SoO happy for her that she's finally found a job she deserves and will be great at! I also get the joy of taking care of my sweet sweet nieces. I know it'll be tough. It's already tough with my own three! But it's such a blessing to have this  time with them. William just had his 5th birthday and it always reinforces how precious life is. And how short childhood really is. These babies will be in school and out of my arms in no time. But if I can instill some love, family and happiness in them while I have the time. Heard my favorite Green day song today and I realized how much I want happiness myself too. I want a happy marriage. I want happy children.  I want to live a long healthy life surrounded by family and friends. I want to eat well and live comfortably.  My life is short too...and Even though the baby making era is through, I have so much to look forward in this life that I step forward with excitement! And say goodbye with pleasant sorrow.
Next step...

5 years

My baby boy turned 5 years old today.  That means I have been a mother that long too. For some reason I was very emotional about it all. I guess I've been reflecting about these years and how far we've come...together.  Three days into Will's life we knew we were not on the typical baby journey.  We spent his first four months living in the hospital, hoping and praying that he would make it through each day. We spent his first birthday waiting for him to get out of recovery from brain surgery. By age 2 my little guy had been through 13 surgeries.  Thirteen times we have been sat down and had explained that Will's surgery is " complex" and "serious" and he may not make it through, or there is risk of bleeding, or they can't promise success. 13 times we cried and feared we'd lose him and sent him under a knife anyways because it was the best we could do for him.
I sit back and I look at my 5 year old boy now. The one that has been generally healthy for years ( yes plural!) The one who is going to kindergarten, making lots of friends, being a big brother and making me smile on a daily basis. Does he talk? Walk? See? Hear?  Yes...no...maybe.  Is he happy? Learning? Developing? yes Yes YES!  He taught me what a miracle was. He's reminded me what faith looks and feels like. He's my hope and inspiration.  He is the epitome of love. 5 years!? This kid has lived a lifetime in those 5 years...those 1850 days of life.  The rest is just for the joy of it.
Happy birthday William Murray Rossi. I love you.

Today has been a nice relaxing family day! Those are few in our house. Seems like there is always something happening to keep us busy and exhausted. I'm just about to my 36th week of pregnancy now. I can't believe that we will have one more little person here in less than a month. I don't feel ready, but then I don't know that you ever do. I've been reflecting a lot on Wills short lil life lately, thinking about how huge it has been. With all we've been through with him and how generally healthy he is today...it feels like a blur or dream. Could be me in this pregnancy fog too! I talk about how he was on palliative so freely and our fears of losing him without extreme emotion all the time. I almost feel bad for not feeling worried and bad. It's crazy I know.