I've been watching my babies grow for the over five years now. Before them I can honestly say I was a very selfish human being. To be so consumed by other people's needs and well being more than my own is still new to me, and I actually resent it at times. I am currently dealing with my ongoing back issues with chiro, yoga, massages, hot packs, Advil, and any other tricks I can come up with. But I know that a little time and self care could probably be what's due. So what the heck does a mom do?! I am pretty sure "back in the day" moms were not taking mental health days or vacations from their lives. They dealt with more for less and still seemed fine! Am I (are we) so pampered in this day and age that we can only handle so much reality before we need a break? Is it wrong for me to not want to hang with my 8 month old baby for just one day? Stupid motherly guilt. This I have learned oh too we'll and let me tell you, it too is getting old. Do dads feel guilt every time they walk out the door empty handed (and by empty handed I mean without a kid). Do they spend the entire excursion thinking "are they ok?" "Should I call?" "I better hurry because..."
I love my kids. Over love them maybe...if you can do that. I forget to love myself and that is no good for anyone. I know it. I just have to figure out how to fit me in...and hopefully my dear hubby after that! Ah...the life!
